Hello! Long time no see. (J/K) Soo today was my first day birth control pill free! Woohoo! It felt great. I can't stand having to take a pill everyday. I do have to take Metformin twice a day though and I hate it too! And these are big pills and 2 each time I take them (4 pills a day). YUCK. But at least no more birth control...

Soo last night I had a dream. It was weird and kind of funny. I dreamt that we had let in a skunk into the house. He was a cute little skunk though. The dogs got used to him quickly. He didn't stink or let out his stinky juice. He would cuddle up with me and I would pet him. (makes me wanna hurl thinking about it now) Well the next day in my dream, I ask Aaron where he is. I couldn't find him and the dogs were there in the house. I figured he was with them but he wasn't. Soo Aaron starts looking for him and finds him under our couch. DEAD. He had been cut and had blood coming out of him. The dogs didn't bite him though. I just knew it in my head. It was gross. Soo it was weird, depressing and gross.

Then I have been having dreams of how to sleep. I know, weird. The first one was that I knew I had twins in my belly so I couldn't lay on my stomach anymore. In real life, I kept avoiding sleeping on my stomach thinking of the babies....
Then I dreamt (more like a daydream at night...weird) that I had 2 embryo's in me and that I was just thinking about it and sort of talking to them.
Hmm...

So I was looking at the calendar and I am shocked!! I am 3 weeks away exactly from my estimated egg retrieval. YIKES! That is close! I am slowly counting down the weeks and days but at the same time I am counting down pretty quickly.

I asked Aaron the other night during dinner what he thought of me during this process. As far as, how have I been acting, how does he perceive me.. He responded saying that I was peaceful, that I seemed happy and just relaxed. I asked him if he remembers me having breakdowns and he said yes! I remember just getting home and crying and crying. Or being in a bad mood all weekend. Or once I even stayed in bed for 2 days STRAIGHT! I am not exaggerating!!! I was crying and crying. Its sad, really.
I told him I feel very hopeful. I feel that God has led me here to this place RIGHT now. I feel as He has opened the doors and everything is coming together for this moment. Our insurance, our plans, our house, our marriage. Everything. That leaves me with the fear of being wrong. If this doesn't work out I will be devasted. I know its only my first time, and I know that I have other tries.... I know I am young but still. I feel like God is telling me "this is your time". If I am wrong then that will crush me, that I was wrong all this time. But I am going to trust in God. I am going to go with my feelings and just run with them.

Soo its lunch time but I am not eating. Darn it. I am actually fasting with Aaron until Saturday. We are fasting until 2 pm everyday and praying about our cycle at least 5 minutes an hour. Hopefully God hears our prayers...