Okay, so I didn't puke for THAT long!
Anyways, blech on that piece of crap woman. Just blech.
Well for the last 2 days the toilet has been my bestfriend. Yay! Welcome back to Metformin land. Haha. That's as far as my ttc attempts are going for right now.
Did I mention I called my RE and set up my FET for February?? I will call them once I get af end of December or beginning of January. So I should have my transfer sometime in late January or early February. Not too excited about it but gotta do what I gotta do. I no longer see these treatment cycles as a "this one is it!" kind of thing but more like "oh no, here we go again". That's sad huh? I am about 97% expecting a bfn and about 3% expecting a bfp. (gotta have SOME hope, right?) It's easier that way.
I don't even want to think of what is going to happen after FET! Ugh!!! I will be shopping for a new RE and it just drains me thinking about it!
I did get 2 information packets on adoption. One from the state and one from an agency in Houston. Again, sounds like a huge hassle too!! Either one (new RE with bfp or adoption success) will be worth it though...
My sister's wedding is getting THISCLOSE. Omg! I am excited, nervous and scared all at the same time. I called my sis to make sure she is okay. I remember those days... very stressful. I remember crying and my mind racing 100 miles an hour. I wish I could had been rich to hire a wedding coordinator. Supposedly, she is fine. She is just getting the last things done. I am SO jealous she is going away on honeymoon/ vacation. I know I just went away to the beach but she is going on a cruise! Waa! I wanna go!
I noticed yesterday after taking some headshots of myself (I was bored) that I am definately tan, at least my body is but my face now seems too light for my body!! lol I swear I looked as if I photoshopped my head onto a body in some of the pics. Does anybody know how to fix this? I was thinking of using a bronzer or maybe even self tanning lotion on my face. But that would be scary!! Think of what could happen? I am not sure if I should be experimenting a week before the wedding but I surely don't want to look like a bobble head.
No other news on this block. Holidays are creeping up fast huh? I decorated the inside of the house (except for the tree) with all the cute decorations and wreaths and little trees. In one of the boxes I found a teddy bear that I saved from last year. I won it at church and everyone said it was perfect for me because I was pregnant. It was! I knew it was meant to be when I won it. Well sometime after Christmas I put it up thinking it would be neat to find it next year with my baby in my arms. *GULP*
That stung BIG time!! No baby in my arms, just a little brown polo teddy bear. How sad is that? This sucks...
Friday, November 30, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
"OMG" is all I could say when I read this about 30 seconds ago!!!
Zeigler is jailed in solitary confinement due to concerns that publicity of the case could cause other inmates to retaliate against him.
Trenor's attorney said she is jailed in a medical unit because she is pregnant.
These are the same people from the article I posted yesterday!! SHE IS PREGNANT!?!?!?!! WTF?????????????????????????????????????????????????
I am going to puke... be back later.
Zeigler is jailed in solitary confinement due to concerns that publicity of the case could cause other inmates to retaliate against him.
Trenor's attorney said she is jailed in a medical unit because she is pregnant.
These are the same people from the article I posted yesterday!! SHE IS PREGNANT!?!?!?!! WTF?????????????????????????????????????????????????
I am going to puke... be back later.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Ugh. I am so sad. My heart feels broken for this little girl. I just can't believe there are people (more like ANIMALS) that are capable of doing this to a human, nonetheless, a child. Our city got a little attention through this, definately not the attention us here in Galveston would like though...
GALVESTON, Texas - A woman believed to be the mother of a 2-year-old whose body was found in Galveston Bay told police she and the girl’s stepfather beat and tortured the child to death, court documents show.
The details, in a statement Kimberly Dawn Trenor gave to police, paint a chilling picture of the last days of the girl investigators called “Baby Grace” as they worked for weeks to learn her identity.
Investigators are awaiting DNA test results but said Monday they are “fairly confident” that the body a fisherman found in a plastic box Oct. 29 is that of Riley Ann Sawyers. Trenor, 19, and her husband, Royce Clyde Zeigler II, were in custody on charges of hurting the girl.
“It was a few weeks ago I held up this little shoe and asked, ’Who is Baby Grace? Who does this belong to?”’ sheriff’s Maj. Ray Tuttoilmondo said at a news conference. “We’re now fairly confident we know the answer to that.”
An autopsy revealed three skull fractures, but the cause of death has not been determined.
Tuttoilmondo said he could not discuss details of the little girl’s death, but Trenor said in her police statement, first reported by Houston television station KTRK, that she and Zeigler, 24, killed her July 24.
The girl was beaten with leather belts, had her head held underwater in a bathtub and then was thrown across a room, her head slamming into a tile floor, Trenor said in the document. She said they kept the body in a storage shed for one to two months before they put it in a plastic bin and dumped it into Galveston Bay.
Trenor’s attorney, Tom Stickler, said she has cooperated with authorities. He declined to comment about her statement to investigators.
'No doubt' on ID“But from what she said, there is no doubt that the girl found is Riley Sawyers,” Stickler said.
Trenor and Zeigler were arrested early Saturday and charged with injury to a child and tampering with evidence, Tuttoilmondo said. Bail was set at $350,000 each. The couple’s next court appearance was expected to be scheduled on Tuesday.
Royce Clyde Zeigler II is the boyfriend of the dead girl's mother.
Wendell Odom, Zeigler’s attorney, declined to comment on the case except to say Zeigler grew up in Spring, about 75 miles north of Galveston, and works as an instrument technician in the oil industry.
Trenor and Zeigler met a couple of years ago playing an online game, World of Warcraft, and she moved with her daughter from suburban Cleveland to Spring in June, Stickler said.
Riley’s paternal grandmother, Sheryl Sawyers, hadn’t seen her granddaughter in months when she saw a police sketch of “Baby Grace.” Thinking it might be Riley, she called authorities in Texas.
'Resting peacefully'In Mentor, Ohio, on Monday, Sawyers wiped away tears at a news conference and held up the Elmo doll she had already bought Riley for Christmas.
“It’s hard to think that I’ll never see her again,” she said.
The Sawyers family’s attorney, Laura DePledge, said they take comfort in knowing that the girl is “resting peacefully and is no longer subject to abuse.”
DePledge said Trenor and Sawyers’ son, Robert Sawyers, also of Mentor, had been high school sweethearts. Sheryl Sawyers said she has not seen Riley since the girl and Trenor moved to Texas.
Robert Sawyers, who works in an auto-parts store, was never married to Trenor but lived with her and their daughter in his parents’ home for about two years. He and Trenor split up after March 31, when he was charged with domestic violence against her.
DePledge said there was insufficient evidence to support the charge, which was reduced to disorderly conduct. Robert Sawyers is now married and has a 3-month-old son.
Riley “had a very big imagination for such a little girl,” he said of his daughter. “She could play with anything and have fun with it.”
Tuttoilmondo said Trenor had told relatives that someone claiming to be a social worker from Ohio took the girl in July.
Tuttoilmondo said investigators became emotionally involved in determining the little girl’s identity.
“Any way you look at it, we carry a piece of her with us and will always carry a little piece of her with us,” he said. “She’s still our little girl.”
This just fucking disgusts me. Pardon my language but it just sickens me. My GOD, here the hell I am crying and asking for a kid while these fucking animals KILL their's. I just can't understand. I don't understand. Why not give this little girl to someone who would have treasured her. Why not send her off to her grandmother's. Why not use some damn birth control???
This morning I was on my way to work and I heard this song (before I knew about the conclusion of Baby Grace) and I laughed at these lyrics. I thought, hmm, I need to post that song on my blog. I loved this song back in the day and although I don't here it much today, when I do, I turn it up loud and JAM out.
Here are the lyrics:
I had visions, I was in them,
I was looking into the mirror
To see a little bit clearer
The rottenness and evil in me
Fingertips have memories,
Mine can't forget the curves of your body
And when I feel a bit naughty
I run it up the flagpole and see who salutes(But no one ever does)
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
and I'm so hot 'cause I'm in hell
Been around the world and found
That only stupid people are breeding
The cretins cloning and feeding
And I don't even own a TV
Put me in the hospital for nerves
And then they had to commit me
You told them all I was crazy
They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee,
Goddamn you
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And it's a sin, to live so well
wanna publish 'zines
And rage against machines
I wanna pierce my tongue
It doesn't hurt, it feels fine
The trivial sublime
I'd like to turn off time
And kill my mind
You kill my mind
Mind...
Paranoia, paranoia
Everybody's comin' to get me
Just say you never met me
I'm runnin' underground with the moles
Diggin' big holes
Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored then you're boring
The agony and the irony, they're killing me, whoa!
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And it's a sin to live this well
Anybody else LOVE this song??? It's great!! I bolded the lyrics that made me laugh earlier. Then I get here to work and read the conclusion of baby Grace and OMG... the lyrics are not as funny anymore, more sad to me. I just don't get it. I do believe God knows best and that He is wise but this I don't understand. I won't get all deep and try to find out why because I probably won't get an answer but my goodness... This just makes me want to crawl in bed and cry.
GALVESTON, Texas - A woman believed to be the mother of a 2-year-old whose body was found in Galveston Bay told police she and the girl’s stepfather beat and tortured the child to death, court documents show.
The details, in a statement Kimberly Dawn Trenor gave to police, paint a chilling picture of the last days of the girl investigators called “Baby Grace” as they worked for weeks to learn her identity.
Investigators are awaiting DNA test results but said Monday they are “fairly confident” that the body a fisherman found in a plastic box Oct. 29 is that of Riley Ann Sawyers. Trenor, 19, and her husband, Royce Clyde Zeigler II, were in custody on charges of hurting the girl.
“It was a few weeks ago I held up this little shoe and asked, ’Who is Baby Grace? Who does this belong to?”’ sheriff’s Maj. Ray Tuttoilmondo said at a news conference. “We’re now fairly confident we know the answer to that.”
An autopsy revealed three skull fractures, but the cause of death has not been determined.
Tuttoilmondo said he could not discuss details of the little girl’s death, but Trenor said in her police statement, first reported by Houston television station KTRK, that she and Zeigler, 24, killed her July 24.
The girl was beaten with leather belts, had her head held underwater in a bathtub and then was thrown across a room, her head slamming into a tile floor, Trenor said in the document. She said they kept the body in a storage shed for one to two months before they put it in a plastic bin and dumped it into Galveston Bay.
Trenor’s attorney, Tom Stickler, said she has cooperated with authorities. He declined to comment about her statement to investigators.
'No doubt' on ID“But from what she said, there is no doubt that the girl found is Riley Sawyers,” Stickler said.
Trenor and Zeigler were arrested early Saturday and charged with injury to a child and tampering with evidence, Tuttoilmondo said. Bail was set at $350,000 each. The couple’s next court appearance was expected to be scheduled on Tuesday.
Royce Clyde Zeigler II is the boyfriend of the dead girl's mother.
Wendell Odom, Zeigler’s attorney, declined to comment on the case except to say Zeigler grew up in Spring, about 75 miles north of Galveston, and works as an instrument technician in the oil industry.
Trenor and Zeigler met a couple of years ago playing an online game, World of Warcraft, and she moved with her daughter from suburban Cleveland to Spring in June, Stickler said.
Riley’s paternal grandmother, Sheryl Sawyers, hadn’t seen her granddaughter in months when she saw a police sketch of “Baby Grace.” Thinking it might be Riley, she called authorities in Texas.
'Resting peacefully'In Mentor, Ohio, on Monday, Sawyers wiped away tears at a news conference and held up the Elmo doll she had already bought Riley for Christmas.
“It’s hard to think that I’ll never see her again,” she said.
The Sawyers family’s attorney, Laura DePledge, said they take comfort in knowing that the girl is “resting peacefully and is no longer subject to abuse.”
DePledge said Trenor and Sawyers’ son, Robert Sawyers, also of Mentor, had been high school sweethearts. Sheryl Sawyers said she has not seen Riley since the girl and Trenor moved to Texas.
Robert Sawyers, who works in an auto-parts store, was never married to Trenor but lived with her and their daughter in his parents’ home for about two years. He and Trenor split up after March 31, when he was charged with domestic violence against her.
DePledge said there was insufficient evidence to support the charge, which was reduced to disorderly conduct. Robert Sawyers is now married and has a 3-month-old son.
Riley “had a very big imagination for such a little girl,” he said of his daughter. “She could play with anything and have fun with it.”
Tuttoilmondo said Trenor had told relatives that someone claiming to be a social worker from Ohio took the girl in July.
Tuttoilmondo said investigators became emotionally involved in determining the little girl’s identity.
“Any way you look at it, we carry a piece of her with us and will always carry a little piece of her with us,” he said. “She’s still our little girl.”
This just fucking disgusts me. Pardon my language but it just sickens me. My GOD, here the hell I am crying and asking for a kid while these fucking animals KILL their's. I just can't understand. I don't understand. Why not give this little girl to someone who would have treasured her. Why not send her off to her grandmother's. Why not use some damn birth control???
This morning I was on my way to work and I heard this song (before I knew about the conclusion of Baby Grace) and I laughed at these lyrics. I thought, hmm, I need to post that song on my blog. I loved this song back in the day and although I don't here it much today, when I do, I turn it up loud and JAM out.
Here are the lyrics:
I had visions, I was in them,
I was looking into the mirror
To see a little bit clearer
The rottenness and evil in me
Fingertips have memories,
Mine can't forget the curves of your body
And when I feel a bit naughty
I run it up the flagpole and see who salutes(But no one ever does)
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
and I'm so hot 'cause I'm in hell
Been around the world and found
That only stupid people are breeding
The cretins cloning and feeding
And I don't even own a TV
Put me in the hospital for nerves
And then they had to commit me
You told them all I was crazy
They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee,
Goddamn you
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And it's a sin, to live so well
wanna publish 'zines
And rage against machines
I wanna pierce my tongue
It doesn't hurt, it feels fine
The trivial sublime
I'd like to turn off time
And kill my mind
You kill my mind
Mind...
Paranoia, paranoia
Everybody's comin' to get me
Just say you never met me
I'm runnin' underground with the moles
Diggin' big holes
Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored then you're boring
The agony and the irony, they're killing me, whoa!
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And it's a sin to live this well
Anybody else LOVE this song??? It's great!! I bolded the lyrics that made me laugh earlier. Then I get here to work and read the conclusion of baby Grace and OMG... the lyrics are not as funny anymore, more sad to me. I just don't get it. I do believe God knows best and that He is wise but this I don't understand. I won't get all deep and try to find out why because I probably won't get an answer but my goodness... This just makes me want to crawl in bed and cry.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving Week!!
Love the food, the spirit and the unity of family during this time. It's just a warm holiday.
I am officially an aunt. My sister was admitted on Thursday at 6am but didn't have Gabriel until Friday NIGHT at around 6:20pm. She wasn't progressing on her own so doc broke her water and that's when everything finally started to move forward. All of a sudden she dialated to a 4 then a 7 then a 9. I called my mom that evening around 4-5 (I kept calling every hour or so) and I told her to call me when she was going to have him. She did once but the doctor wasn't there yet so they told her to wait for another 20 minutes or so to start pushing. By now, she was a 10. So doc gets there and my mom called me. I told her to put the phone down so I could listen and I got to hear everything. I heard her push for a while then finally I heard some racket going on and her pushing and a little weird noise that sounded like a little cat or something. I was in the walmart parking lot crying with emotion. He weighed almost 7lbs. He is short but fat. He is a cutie. My mom brought back a video of him and I can't wait to see him. As soon as he was born I felt an overwhelming feeling of love for him. I just couldn't help but to be excited to have him here. All day long I had a sad feeling that my sister was going in labor and I wasn't. But I guess his presence took that away. Now that he is here I can't wait to hold him and to cuddle him. I guess it was the pregnancy that hurt me or made me jealous. He on the other hand, is my blood and a BABY. I might not ever want to let him go.
My sister is doing well. She said it was the worst pain of her life. But my mom says she is adapting to motherhood pretty well. We were all nervous about that. lol
On another note, the bacheloretter party was a blast! We had 10 girls. Good food, frozen margaritats and lots of naughty games. My sister had fun and although I spent waaaaay too much money on that night, it was worth it.
We went dancing. I haven't went clubbing in years but it was a special occasion. I kept drinking (3 shots, 5 fruit drinks and 2 margaritas) and couldn't feel a thing. So I thought I was fine. Then all of a sudden I was like "WHOA". I felt the room spinning and I danced my butt off. OMG... I was silly!
But we had fun. My sister wore her bachelorette crown and sash so we had all kinds of congragulations and dances etc.
I felt like crap the next day and the next. I am barely feeling better today.
I am sooo happy that we have Thurs-Sunday off. Woohooo!! LOVE long weekends.
So if I don't get to post again, Happy Turkey Day!
Love the food, the spirit and the unity of family during this time. It's just a warm holiday.
I am officially an aunt. My sister was admitted on Thursday at 6am but didn't have Gabriel until Friday NIGHT at around 6:20pm. She wasn't progressing on her own so doc broke her water and that's when everything finally started to move forward. All of a sudden she dialated to a 4 then a 7 then a 9. I called my mom that evening around 4-5 (I kept calling every hour or so) and I told her to call me when she was going to have him. She did once but the doctor wasn't there yet so they told her to wait for another 20 minutes or so to start pushing. By now, she was a 10. So doc gets there and my mom called me. I told her to put the phone down so I could listen and I got to hear everything. I heard her push for a while then finally I heard some racket going on and her pushing and a little weird noise that sounded like a little cat or something. I was in the walmart parking lot crying with emotion. He weighed almost 7lbs. He is short but fat. He is a cutie. My mom brought back a video of him and I can't wait to see him. As soon as he was born I felt an overwhelming feeling of love for him. I just couldn't help but to be excited to have him here. All day long I had a sad feeling that my sister was going in labor and I wasn't. But I guess his presence took that away. Now that he is here I can't wait to hold him and to cuddle him. I guess it was the pregnancy that hurt me or made me jealous. He on the other hand, is my blood and a BABY. I might not ever want to let him go.
My sister is doing well. She said it was the worst pain of her life. But my mom says she is adapting to motherhood pretty well. We were all nervous about that. lol
On another note, the bacheloretter party was a blast! We had 10 girls. Good food, frozen margaritats and lots of naughty games. My sister had fun and although I spent waaaaay too much money on that night, it was worth it.
We went dancing. I haven't went clubbing in years but it was a special occasion. I kept drinking (3 shots, 5 fruit drinks and 2 margaritas) and couldn't feel a thing. So I thought I was fine. Then all of a sudden I was like "WHOA". I felt the room spinning and I danced my butt off. OMG... I was silly!
But we had fun. My sister wore her bachelorette crown and sash so we had all kinds of congragulations and dances etc.
I felt like crap the next day and the next. I am barely feeling better today.
I am sooo happy that we have Thurs-Sunday off. Woohooo!! LOVE long weekends.
So if I don't get to post again, Happy Turkey Day!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Sooooo I've been totally researching adoption although I am still learning. I've gone back and forth!
It's weird because about a year ago or even 6 months ago, when I thought of adoption, I literally would cry even almost gasp for air. It was like my VERY VERY last resort. I would start feeling like I was going to freak out or have a temper tantram as I'd tell God "Please God, please!! I don't want to have to adopt". It was like I couldn't even imagine myself having to adopt.
Well here I am researching and learning and asking for information packets. Yup, I have 2 being sent my way. Now, I know IF we did adopt we wouldn't start paperwork until the end of next year or even 2009. But I can't believe that this woman who is entering "domestic infant adoption in texas" or "christian adoption agencies" or "foster to adoption programs in texas" is ME. Wow!! I keep going home and just telling Aaron "Let's just adopt, let's forget about ivf, iui's and fet's.. let's just be parents". Surprisingly, he is about 80% on board. He still wants to "try" as do I but I really feel like adoption isn't my last resort, it's another option I can take towards parenthood.
Who knows what this life has in store for me. I never imagined that I'd get pg one day, to see those beautiful pink lines (even purple as I got further along) but I did. I never thought I'd do IVF but I did, 2 times. I never thought I'd EVER consider adoption but I am and very seriously.
So the reason for my post... Time changes all. Time changes one's belief's sometimes, even one's morals. Time changes the hurt after a heartbreak. Time changes love into deeper love or no love. Time changes our physical bodies from great tight beautiful skin to old and wrinkled skin. Time changes our goals, our dreams. Time changes our positions in the world, we move up on the ladder or sometimes move down. Time changes all. Time changed my mind, my belief, my desire.
Time wasn't all. My desire to be a mother is so strong that it is overcoming my biggest fear of never having biological children. That desire has overtaken me and now, it's not so bad if I never experience pg. I mean, I WANT to but so what if I didn't. So what?? The moment I hold my child in whatever way he/she comes, OMG... it will be a "FINALLY" moment. I am not going to think about how this child isn't my blood or is my blood, I am just going to think "FINALLY".
Just like in my dream!
I've decided to start Estrace sometime in January. I need to call my clinic as the time approaches. I want to do FET in February. Not sure why but I do. I haven't even told Aaron yet lol. He is getting ansy though too about all this which has helped me alot to not feel so alone. Aaron used not be so vocal about children maybe because he didnt' want to talk about it or maybe because he just didn't want them that bad but if you hear him now, wow, time changes all!! I'm telling ya! It's crazy...
Well sending out thoughts and prayers to Amy's trio!
It's weird because about a year ago or even 6 months ago, when I thought of adoption, I literally would cry even almost gasp for air. It was like my VERY VERY last resort. I would start feeling like I was going to freak out or have a temper tantram as I'd tell God "Please God, please!! I don't want to have to adopt". It was like I couldn't even imagine myself having to adopt.
Well here I am researching and learning and asking for information packets. Yup, I have 2 being sent my way. Now, I know IF we did adopt we wouldn't start paperwork until the end of next year or even 2009. But I can't believe that this woman who is entering "domestic infant adoption in texas" or "christian adoption agencies" or "foster to adoption programs in texas" is ME. Wow!! I keep going home and just telling Aaron "Let's just adopt, let's forget about ivf, iui's and fet's.. let's just be parents". Surprisingly, he is about 80% on board. He still wants to "try" as do I but I really feel like adoption isn't my last resort, it's another option I can take towards parenthood.
Who knows what this life has in store for me. I never imagined that I'd get pg one day, to see those beautiful pink lines (even purple as I got further along) but I did. I never thought I'd do IVF but I did, 2 times. I never thought I'd EVER consider adoption but I am and very seriously.
So the reason for my post... Time changes all. Time changes one's belief's sometimes, even one's morals. Time changes the hurt after a heartbreak. Time changes love into deeper love or no love. Time changes our physical bodies from great tight beautiful skin to old and wrinkled skin. Time changes our goals, our dreams. Time changes our positions in the world, we move up on the ladder or sometimes move down. Time changes all. Time changed my mind, my belief, my desire.
Time wasn't all. My desire to be a mother is so strong that it is overcoming my biggest fear of never having biological children. That desire has overtaken me and now, it's not so bad if I never experience pg. I mean, I WANT to but so what if I didn't. So what?? The moment I hold my child in whatever way he/she comes, OMG... it will be a "FINALLY" moment. I am not going to think about how this child isn't my blood or is my blood, I am just going to think "FINALLY".
Just like in my dream!
I've decided to start Estrace sometime in January. I need to call my clinic as the time approaches. I want to do FET in February. Not sure why but I do. I haven't even told Aaron yet lol. He is getting ansy though too about all this which has helped me alot to not feel so alone. Aaron used not be so vocal about children maybe because he didnt' want to talk about it or maybe because he just didn't want them that bad but if you hear him now, wow, time changes all!! I'm telling ya! It's crazy...
Well sending out thoughts and prayers to Amy's trio!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Yello!! (I meant to say YELLO!)
Wow, I am so excited for my friend AMY (hey Amy)! She got some great news today and I am just giddy for her. Makes me want to be doing IVF! (where the hell did that come from??? lol)
My parents left for El Paso last night. We traded vehicles as mine is more economical. My sister is being induced today so her little one should arrive today sometime. Hopefully sooner than later as I heard that she was freaking out. I am excited yet nervous, I feel a tad of jealousy because I know a special bond will take place between this little boy, my parents and my sister. I guess I feel that I should have had that bond with them first and I would have if I hadn't lost my baby. *sigh*
Yeah, anyways.........................................
Ironically my uncle passed away this morning too. My dad did travel twice to see him so that makes me feel better. I am just very sad for my dad. My mom said he was very down but that he is better now. I don't know what he is going to do because of my sister being in labor. At least he'll feel some joy today with the baby.
I also got a call from my cousin about her sister. Turns out there's been a major family problem and I am feeling stressed about it. I hope that my cousin is okay. I am praying for them and for the situation but I am still worried about it.
It's been a rough day so far.
Oh and I had to tell my boss about that document that wasn't done. She asked a bunch of questions and said to leave it there with her. I am nervous about it but it's done and over with. At least I am in my office now which is not in the same location as hers. I just hate being there in person with her when she is stressed or angry. She is a VERY intimidating person. Very nice but can come off as mean. Does that make sense??
Then I think I picked up a virus or spyware on my computer at home. First I got some ads then I decided to BUY one of them (winspycontrol) like a dummy and it turns out it's fake and it puts MORE spyware!!! I am out $49.95 PLUS I have all this crap on my computer. I have NO idea how I am going to clean it. I've tried spybot and now am trying superantivirus and adware but don't know if they will work... UGH.. I can't believe I was so stupid and didn't google that stupid software first!! If anybody has any tips, please help. I am not using my computer at home for now until I get it cleaned...
Just realized this post has been about complaining. lol Oops!
So now with my cousin's problem I am not sure if her or her sister will come to the bachelorette party on Saturday. That means I will have to buy more stuff as they were going to help me with some of the costs. Double *UGH*.
Well folks, that's it for now.
Oh and also one of my buddies from FF had her baby last week so CONGRATS TO GLORIA!!! I am sooo happy for you. I wrote Denise to tell her to send you some love from me. I can't wait to see some pics of little Brennan!
Wow, I am so excited for my friend AMY (hey Amy)! She got some great news today and I am just giddy for her. Makes me want to be doing IVF! (where the hell did that come from??? lol)
My parents left for El Paso last night. We traded vehicles as mine is more economical. My sister is being induced today so her little one should arrive today sometime. Hopefully sooner than later as I heard that she was freaking out. I am excited yet nervous, I feel a tad of jealousy because I know a special bond will take place between this little boy, my parents and my sister. I guess I feel that I should have had that bond with them first and I would have if I hadn't lost my baby. *sigh*
Yeah, anyways.........................................
Ironically my uncle passed away this morning too. My dad did travel twice to see him so that makes me feel better. I am just very sad for my dad. My mom said he was very down but that he is better now. I don't know what he is going to do because of my sister being in labor. At least he'll feel some joy today with the baby.
I also got a call from my cousin about her sister. Turns out there's been a major family problem and I am feeling stressed about it. I hope that my cousin is okay. I am praying for them and for the situation but I am still worried about it.
It's been a rough day so far.
Oh and I had to tell my boss about that document that wasn't done. She asked a bunch of questions and said to leave it there with her. I am nervous about it but it's done and over with. At least I am in my office now which is not in the same location as hers. I just hate being there in person with her when she is stressed or angry. She is a VERY intimidating person. Very nice but can come off as mean. Does that make sense??
Then I think I picked up a virus or spyware on my computer at home. First I got some ads then I decided to BUY one of them (winspycontrol) like a dummy and it turns out it's fake and it puts MORE spyware!!! I am out $49.95 PLUS I have all this crap on my computer. I have NO idea how I am going to clean it. I've tried spybot and now am trying superantivirus and adware but don't know if they will work... UGH.. I can't believe I was so stupid and didn't google that stupid software first!! If anybody has any tips, please help. I am not using my computer at home for now until I get it cleaned...
Just realized this post has been about complaining. lol Oops!
So now with my cousin's problem I am not sure if her or her sister will come to the bachelorette party on Saturday. That means I will have to buy more stuff as they were going to help me with some of the costs. Double *UGH*.
Well folks, that's it for now.
Oh and also one of my buddies from FF had her baby last week so CONGRATS TO GLORIA!!! I am sooo happy for you. I wrote Denise to tell her to send you some love from me. I can't wait to see some pics of little Brennan!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
I haven't been feeling well lately. I thought I imagined some spotting the other night and I freaked out because well... That would make me a 28-29 day girl which I have NEVER been. But af didn't come although I am feeling rather pissy so it might be she is just around the corner which would SUCK because I have plans this weekend.
I am throwing my little sister a naughty bachelorette party this Saturday. I have all my games, the decorations and her gift ready to go. All I need now is the food.
It should be fun and we should all have a blast. There will be frozen margaritas so yeah, at least we'll be feeling good. I am not sure if we are going out afterwards (doubt it) but I might gather up my girls and go with them. My sister will most likely go home but I might want to keep the party going... we can still have the bachelorette after party even without the bride, right??
I haven't been working out lately and my eating isn't perfect although it isn't horrendous like it used to be. I need to get back on it. I haven't gained but I haven't lost so I need to straighten up. My goal is to lose another 10lbs before my sister's wedding which is quickly approaching.
Yesterday I spent most of my workday (HA!) looking up foster/adoption and private adoption. I've really been researching lately. It something I never thought I'd come around to but I also thought I'd never do IVF (it was only for desperate crazy women!!), put egg whites in my hoo-haa, take vaginal temp every morning, roll around the bed after bd'ing because I read it worked for someone, etc. It seems that everything I say I will never do, I end up doing. How is that? Anyways, yeah. I've been reading alot. I contacted the HR president again for Aaron's job and asked for more information on the adoption reimbursement. She emailed a nice summary and it does sound pretty good. We are eligible for up to $10K in reimbursement for EACH adoption. Wow! (now why couldn't they increase my $10K LIFETIME max on IVF again?? Ugh) Sooooooooo this is GOOD. Real good. I read a lot on foster to adoption programs but there are risks that I don't think I can do. I read on domestic infant adoption and that seems to be what matches our needs the most. I always said (when I started thinking of adoption or when I'd hear a story of adoption) that I would ONLY do closed adoption. Now that has changed. I think I'd do semi open adoption. I also thought I might want only an infant but I might just be open to a child up to 3-4 years old. There are so many things to think about and fortunately I have until next year. I just like to get head starts. :)
I will probably do my FET sometime VERY soon. Maybe in January or February. I want to get it over with. Isn't that horrible?? I already feel that it isn't going to work. I guess all the bfn's have stayed with me. We'll see.... I am sure I will get more excited as the time approaches but for now I kind of wish I could skip all this bullshit and move onto adoption. Yeah, I cussed. Man I am pissy today!!!
I've been slacking at work too. I just don't feel like doing anything......PLUS, there is this one thing that my boss is going to have a heart attack about. A document that wasn't completed back in January! Yup, a year ago!! She is going to chew my booty out. Oh well, nothing I can do about it.
So that's whats going on on my block!
I am throwing my little sister a naughty bachelorette party this Saturday. I have all my games, the decorations and her gift ready to go. All I need now is the food.
It should be fun and we should all have a blast. There will be frozen margaritas so yeah, at least we'll be feeling good. I am not sure if we are going out afterwards (doubt it) but I might gather up my girls and go with them. My sister will most likely go home but I might want to keep the party going... we can still have the bachelorette after party even without the bride, right??
I haven't been working out lately and my eating isn't perfect although it isn't horrendous like it used to be. I need to get back on it. I haven't gained but I haven't lost so I need to straighten up. My goal is to lose another 10lbs before my sister's wedding which is quickly approaching.
Yesterday I spent most of my workday (HA!) looking up foster/adoption and private adoption. I've really been researching lately. It something I never thought I'd come around to but I also thought I'd never do IVF (it was only for desperate crazy women!!), put egg whites in my hoo-haa, take vaginal temp every morning, roll around the bed after bd'ing because I read it worked for someone, etc. It seems that everything I say I will never do, I end up doing. How is that? Anyways, yeah. I've been reading alot. I contacted the HR president again for Aaron's job and asked for more information on the adoption reimbursement. She emailed a nice summary and it does sound pretty good. We are eligible for up to $10K in reimbursement for EACH adoption. Wow! (now why couldn't they increase my $10K LIFETIME max on IVF again?? Ugh) Sooooooooo this is GOOD. Real good. I read a lot on foster to adoption programs but there are risks that I don't think I can do. I read on domestic infant adoption and that seems to be what matches our needs the most. I always said (when I started thinking of adoption or when I'd hear a story of adoption) that I would ONLY do closed adoption. Now that has changed. I think I'd do semi open adoption. I also thought I might want only an infant but I might just be open to a child up to 3-4 years old. There are so many things to think about and fortunately I have until next year. I just like to get head starts. :)
I will probably do my FET sometime VERY soon. Maybe in January or February. I want to get it over with. Isn't that horrible?? I already feel that it isn't going to work. I guess all the bfn's have stayed with me. We'll see.... I am sure I will get more excited as the time approaches but for now I kind of wish I could skip all this bullshit and move onto adoption. Yeah, I cussed. Man I am pissy today!!!
I've been slacking at work too. I just don't feel like doing anything......PLUS, there is this one thing that my boss is going to have a heart attack about. A document that wasn't completed back in January! Yup, a year ago!! She is going to chew my booty out. Oh well, nothing I can do about it.
So that's whats going on on my block!
Friday, November 09, 2007
Hello!!
TGIF right?? Can you believe it's going to be Thanksgiving in less then 2 weeks??? OMG.. where did this year go? I swear I feel older every minute.
Last night we went to a Toby Mac/ Barlow Girl concert!! OMG it was sooooo much fun. I have tons of pics and the best part- we were in the FRONT ROW baby!!!!! Right smack in the middle. It was one of the most awesome experiences I've ever had, really! By the way, he is a CUTIE! :) He sang all these jams and then he did a little "let's go back old school" and he did remixes of old disco songs. OMG, was I dancing. Hehe, the whole concert was recorded live for a DVD coming out next Easter so hopefully I got my 15 minutes of fame on there, I should had since I was RIGHT there.
All my pics are great. I might post some here later on. Once, he knelt down on one knee and he looked right at me (I was right there in his face) but I swear we locked eyes for like 30 seconds and then he did it to my little cousin and he gave Aaron a high five. BOoo because I reached out my hand but he didn't give me a five. :( But it was GREAT. We had a blast.
Barlow Girl was good to although we've seen them before but it they jammed too!
I spoke to my sister last night. Turns out, the doctor would have induced her this Saturday but she thought about it and decided to wait it out one more week. She is 38 weeks now so the baby would be fine but she is worried that she is forcing him out when he isn't ready. So she says she will probably go in on the 15th, Friday and be induced then. She'd be 39 weeks. Remember, my OTHER sister is getting married Dec. 8th so my mom has been talking to my PG sister alot about dates since my mom is going to go and stay with my PG sister after baby comes. It's getting hard for her since the 2 important dates are so close.
And his name will be: Gabriel Antonio. Now, I don't like Antonio too much (her husband picked that name out) but I LOVE Gabriel. I never really thought about Gabriel (as a baby name when I look at names) but when she said it I loved it! Little Gabriel.... I am excited but I've noticed that it's stressing me out. I guess I am just wondering how I will react but I know in the end I will be fine. Time will tell.
Tomorrow Aaron is taking out my sister's fiance. They are doing a "clean, fun" bachelor party in where they are going to a HUGE laser tag, pool, arcade place and eat pizza. Then they are going to wrap a friend's house... lol They are crazy!
Then on the 17th, I am throwing my sister a bachelorette party. It's naughty themed so everything I have (paperware, napkins, decorations, etc) are all PENIS genre. There will be like 8 girls and we are just going to have a blast. I have some naughty games, margaritas and fun planned for the night! I can't wait!! It will be my first time hosting a bachelorette party so I want to make it FUN and something people will remember, especially my sister.
Then tomorrow I am having a fall party for my sunday school class. I have all these games, food and activities planned.
I feel drained when I think about everything I have to do and it is making the weeks go by SO fast. I guess that's good so these holidays won't seem boring and sad. That's the last thing I want.
So yup, that's my upcoming schedule. *sigh*
Oh and this time last year, I was doing IVF!!!! Wow, I can't believe it's been a year already since I stepped into the glamorous, fabulous life of the ivf'ers. Shouldn't I get a prize for it or something?? Like a baby or at least a lousy t-shirt???? You know, "I did 2 IVF's and 1 FET and all I got was this lousy t-shirt..." Wouldn't that be a hoot??
TGIF right?? Can you believe it's going to be Thanksgiving in less then 2 weeks??? OMG.. where did this year go? I swear I feel older every minute.
Last night we went to a Toby Mac/ Barlow Girl concert!! OMG it was sooooo much fun. I have tons of pics and the best part- we were in the FRONT ROW baby!!!!! Right smack in the middle. It was one of the most awesome experiences I've ever had, really! By the way, he is a CUTIE! :) He sang all these jams and then he did a little "let's go back old school" and he did remixes of old disco songs. OMG, was I dancing. Hehe, the whole concert was recorded live for a DVD coming out next Easter so hopefully I got my 15 minutes of fame on there, I should had since I was RIGHT there.
All my pics are great. I might post some here later on. Once, he knelt down on one knee and he looked right at me (I was right there in his face) but I swear we locked eyes for like 30 seconds and then he did it to my little cousin and he gave Aaron a high five. BOoo because I reached out my hand but he didn't give me a five. :( But it was GREAT. We had a blast.
Barlow Girl was good to although we've seen them before but it they jammed too!
I spoke to my sister last night. Turns out, the doctor would have induced her this Saturday but she thought about it and decided to wait it out one more week. She is 38 weeks now so the baby would be fine but she is worried that she is forcing him out when he isn't ready. So she says she will probably go in on the 15th, Friday and be induced then. She'd be 39 weeks. Remember, my OTHER sister is getting married Dec. 8th so my mom has been talking to my PG sister alot about dates since my mom is going to go and stay with my PG sister after baby comes. It's getting hard for her since the 2 important dates are so close.
And his name will be: Gabriel Antonio. Now, I don't like Antonio too much (her husband picked that name out) but I LOVE Gabriel. I never really thought about Gabriel (as a baby name when I look at names) but when she said it I loved it! Little Gabriel.... I am excited but I've noticed that it's stressing me out. I guess I am just wondering how I will react but I know in the end I will be fine. Time will tell.
Tomorrow Aaron is taking out my sister's fiance. They are doing a "clean, fun" bachelor party in where they are going to a HUGE laser tag, pool, arcade place and eat pizza. Then they are going to wrap a friend's house... lol They are crazy!
Then on the 17th, I am throwing my sister a bachelorette party. It's naughty themed so everything I have (paperware, napkins, decorations, etc) are all PENIS genre. There will be like 8 girls and we are just going to have a blast. I have some naughty games, margaritas and fun planned for the night! I can't wait!! It will be my first time hosting a bachelorette party so I want to make it FUN and something people will remember, especially my sister.
Then tomorrow I am having a fall party for my sunday school class. I have all these games, food and activities planned.
I feel drained when I think about everything I have to do and it is making the weeks go by SO fast. I guess that's good so these holidays won't seem boring and sad. That's the last thing I want.
So yup, that's my upcoming schedule. *sigh*
Oh and this time last year, I was doing IVF!!!! Wow, I can't believe it's been a year already since I stepped into the glamorous, fabulous life of the ivf'ers. Shouldn't I get a prize for it or something?? Like a baby or at least a lousy t-shirt???? You know, "I did 2 IVF's and 1 FET and all I got was this lousy t-shirt..." Wouldn't that be a hoot??
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