Monday morning. Blech. Aaron is home all warm in our bed. WAAAA! But I gotta say that THIS Monday isn't bad at all. I woke up this morning wishing I could call in but at the same time I was excited to get up! I AM PREGNANT! That is a reason to suck it up and get up. I am just so happy and feeling so blessed.
The funny thing is, I always imagined getting my bfp and crying and falling on my knees from all the emotion that would take over me. But when I got my bfp on 9 dpo (yes, it was that early!!... I told ya that was a line... I am sure you thought I was crazy!) the first thing that popped out of my mouth was "Oh sh*t". First of all, I don't cuss. That is not part of my language but as I saw the really really light line I couldn't find words. I picked it up and looked at it under the light (I was in our bathroom) and I remember my hand was shaking. I didn't cry but I was just in total shock. I just couldn't believe it. I quickly ran (THERE GOES THE SURPRISE I WAS PLANNING FOR AARON) over to Aaron who was in office, who didn't even know I was testing let alone that I had tests. I am freaking out and show it him and he can't see it. *mad* WHAT? Its there!! "OH yeah, I can see it, its light, really light". So we went back and forth and I just knew it in my heart that it was a BFP. Again, I didn't cry. I was just smiling and in disbelief.
I am thanking God over and over of course. He deserves all the glory in my journey. Here I am PG after IVF which first of all I didn't want to do, then when I thought I could, there was no way we could pay for it right now and we had no insurance coverage. Now I sit here PG after going through IVF and paying maybe a total of $300 for the procedure and $82 for meds. Our specific cycle (IVF with ICSI and Assisting Hatching) probably costs about close to $20,000 with the meds!!! How can I NOT give Him the GLORY??? And then for it to work??? The first time??? Its just a miracle!!
Shots out to my doc too! Dr. Dunn you are our hero! I will never forget how confident he was when we went in for our ivf consultation. I actually thought he was smoking crack because HELLO??? How can you be so sure and confident?? We have not one issue but 2?? He really did fluff my head up to believe, maybe this can work- the first time. He told me I was his favorite type of patient. I was young, healthy and had a very high success rate. The only thing that could be wrong might be the PCOS and MFI and after that, maybe all would be perfect. It turns out he was right. I can't wait to tell him we are PG! On the day of my transfer, again, I thought he was smoking crack. He was just so darn happy and excited! I do have to say that after our initial meeting with him, I did feel confident in the care we would recieve. I felt that he cared and that he was a smart, professional man that we could trust. (I still thought he smoked crack though! j/k) And he was. He knew exactly what "cocktail" to give me to respond perfectly and I have even managed to NOT get ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome!! WOOOHOOOOO!!! Thats our smart Dr. Dunn!!!

Now the focus and prayer is that this baby or babies are kept inside of me for the rest of the 8 months. I pray that I will not encounter miscarriage or any threat of that sort. I feel confident as I know that God has been with me. I know this was all God in my situation. So I feel confident that HE WILL finish this work in me. But just to be on the safe side, Aaron and I are praying and praying that our child(ren) will be in perfect health and that they will stay warm and cozy inside their mommy. (ahhh, I can't believe I am a MOMMY!!!!)
So the hardest part of this is not telling anybody. I did tell ONE friend of mine last night but I made her swear not to say anything to anybody! Aaron gave me "permission" to tell her as I told him I would make her promise me. She did tell her husband (I told her she could) and they were delighted for us. She knew we were going through IVF so she was in prayer for us as well. Well the reason why we aren't telling anybody isn't because we are scared of miscarriage because again, I am confident in God that this is going to work out, but the reason is that me and Aaron had already talked about how we would tell everyone. CHRISTMAS!!! How perfect and what not better gift to my parents than the news that their first grand child(ren) are coming!!! My mom has been patiently waiting and praying as my dad and I feel so happy to finally give them that gift. This will be one of my favorite Christmas's ever!!! I have 3 weeks to hold it in and right now its easy as it still hasn't sunk in all the way with me but in about a week or so, its going to be hard... Aaron made me promise though and I know that if we waited to tell them it would be special!!!!!!