Yeah so the wait isn't going too hot. I am getting impatient!!! I went ahead and took the day off tomorrow anyway, for the heck of it. I want to sleep in and then Aaron and I will go to the movies. He's been waiting to watch Transformers so we will finally get to see it.

I am feeling good today. I am a bit worried about it. But the other day I felt good too and then yesterday I went in for u/s and b/w and I was SOOO scared that I had already ovulated because I didn't feel like crap. Well the opposite happened- follicles got bigger! So I am trying not to worry too much. My ER is still 2 days away so I still have some time.

Tonight I trigger!!!! Yipee! I am so excited about that.

Last night I had to do lupron and microdose ovidrel, NO FOLLISTIM. Well Aaron takes out the supplies and meds as he does every night and then he asks if we have anymore insulin needles. I tell him we should have lots. (I did get ALOT with my shipment) Well he looks and looks and nothing. We only have one and we need 2. One for lupron and one for m.d. ovidrel! I was like, okay... this is the very last insulin needle I will need for this cycle and I am short?? Come on! So he had to rush to Walgreens to buy some. Rush because it was 9:52 and Walgreen's closed at 10pm!! We cut it close but he came in 10 minutes later like a knight on a white horse holding a bag of insulin syringes. I told him he was my hero!
God, what is wrong with that picture?? I was happy because he brought me needles?? What has this ivf done to me? That was the high of the day!

So I haven't really shared this too much on here because, well I've been talking about my ivf cycle but as you can remember my sister is pregnant. My younger sister who just got married 7 months ago and is apparently VERY fertile (got pg 2 weeks after moving in with her husband). Well I found out she was pg during my FET cycle. It totally screwed me up. I bawled and cried and from that moment on I lost all hope for that cycle. Big surprise when it turned out bfn.
I've tried to be strong about it. The good thing (in a twisted way) is that she lives far away from me. I don't see her much. The last time I saw her was about 3 weeks ago. She had her belly bump. I felt sad but I just saw her for 10 minutes. I had my little breakdown and moved on. She was gone in 2 days. We don't talk too much about her pg though and that is sad. If she gets into details I just pull the phone away from my ear. I did manage to buy her some maternity clothes since she was complaining that she didn't have any and that she was broke. I buy myself maternity clothes sometimes if I see a good sale or whatever so one day I looked in her size. So far I've bought her 3 1/2 outfits. So I am being nice, I think. I just don't want to be around her too much?!?! I know, its confusing...
WEll my ivf is NOW. ER is Saturday and guess what??? Its also time for her to get her BIG u/s! Ugh... Her husband was being an ass and wasn't going to be able to go so my parents headed that way to see her. Now, this isn't the only reason why they are going over there. She will also be getting some very serious results on a procedure she had done (nothing to do with baby) about a week ago. Its very serious and is probably not very good news (abnormal cells). Soo they decided to not let her go by herself which I think is a very good idea. But of course, they will be there for the BIG u/s.
I was having a hard time with this because I am not sure how I am going to react when I hear the sex of her baby. I might get sad, or angry or jealous, who knows... So I talked to Aaron and we thought it was best if we didn't know. I talked to my mom before she left and just told her I didn't want to know. I wanted to focus on my cycle and not worry about nothing else. Luckily, she understood. I even had the courage to tell my sister. Luckily, she understood, I think. So the deal is not to let me know the sex until I am well passed my transfer. I even told my mom not to call anybody over here because then they would blurt it out to me. She said I am safe.
Phew! Sometimes, I think I am being a big baby but I know me to well. I need to take care of myself. Aaron agrees and he is very serious about protecting me.
I did tell my sister once this is over I will call her myself and let her tell me on the phone. I want to know, just not yet. She said okay. So its kind of suspensful too!

Nothing else... Just waiting and waiting!!!! I can't believe next week is transfer! Holy Moly! How will I get by during Mon- Wed?? I don't see how I can work or focus!!!