Sooo each day is a day closer... I am almost finished with provera. YAY! Tomorrow is my last pill. I hope, I really hope that my period does not decide to boycott. Uh, uh! You better come NOW.
So with the day getting closer I have been really struggling with the embies question. My doctor said he would transfer 2. He gave me a percentage of 60% or higher of my first IVF working... He said we have anywhere from a 1/3 to 1/4 chance of twins. I always said that I wanted 2 transfered over. Aaron says "we minus well go for it". Well, I am not too sure now. I mean, 2 babies would be great. Twins are very popular and cute. Twins would always have someone to play with. Twins would knock out an extra pregnancy for me since we want 3-4 kids. That would knock out 2 kids on one try! There will be double smiles, double kisses, double first words, double everything. Even double trouble! LOL But the things that worry me are whether or not our house is big enough (only 1300 sq feet but we do have 2 small bedrooms besides the masterbedroom), whether we can afford 2 babies, whether I have enough love to give 2 babies... I mean, I have dreamed and desired and imagined that ONE first baby for years. I feel as if I get 2, I will have trouble adjusting my love for them equally. Aaron would love twins I think! He has no problem with it. I am sure if he really thought about the financial part might bug him a bit but he sees no problem with 2.
Now back to IVF. I told Aaron last night, I want to have the highest chance of coming out pregnant this time so 2 sounds great. Alot of times, even in young women, the embie won't stick (implant) to my uterus. Soo if I only put one in, and he/she doesn't stick, then that means I am left with not 2 or 1 baby but none. :( But if I put one in and he/she sticks then I am pregant with a singleton which is what I have always imagined. But... to make my chances higher, just in case the one doesn't stick, we put 2 in. Now, I don't want to secretly hope that one doesn't stick because they are still my babies, no matter how many. But what if they both stick!!???!!! Then its twins for me! OMG. Not to mention, this one girl on fertility friend transfered 2 embies and one of them decided to split to turn into identical twins... So then she had identical twins, AND a fraternal triplet!!! She ended up losing one or 2 (sorry, can't remember) which is sad but still that is a chance I am taking also. My RE did say that was very, very, rare... Sooo, that is my latest worry. OMG. I am not even a mother yet and I am already worried... I guess I am unconciously preparing for motherhood. *sigh*