I thought it might be wise to come here and think out loud. For some reason, I looked at my calendar and I am a week away from beta. It makes my stomach turn into knots just thinking about it. I am trying not to get anxious or panicky because I know that is not good for me or the possible growing babies inside of me but how can you help yourself not to??? This 2ww is torture!!! I did test last night because I wanted to see if trigger was out yet and from what it looks like, it is. I had a very very light line after the time limit so I still count it as a negative. That is good! I am 10 days past trigger so that means any bfp I get should be real now. I am not sure if I will test before beta. One moment I want to, and the other I don't. I am taking the whole day off though since I have to go in the morning and then they will call me some time in the afternoon (there goes the knot in the tummy feeling again!). Aaron is also staying home with me. I figure we are going to either celebrate like crazy or I will have a break down, seriously.
I have been having very very vivid dreams for about 3 days now. The first one was a sex dream.... Weird, I know... then yesterday I don't remember what it was but I woke up thinking it was real. Today I woke up and I had dreamt about christmas and music. Weird, I know but it was so real. I also realized that I was thinking of "my twins" when I woke up. I woke up rubbing my belly even though I was still half asleep. I caught myself and thought, hm, how strange.
So since the transfer, Aaron has been so sweet and so devoted to me. I think seeing the 2 little ones on the screen gave him a sense of reality. I think he is very excited about it! He told his brother and shared how he might be a father. Every night before we go to sleep he says goodnight to my belly. He asks me everyday how the "chicos" are doing. I say "I don't know." He says" Growing?" I say, "hopefully." That is the routine now. So now I feel the pressure to make him happy too. I know he is hopeful and excited and I SO want to make him happy by being pregnant. I don't want to let him down, kwim?
So for the sake of me and their daddy, EMBIES: Please be growing inside of me!!! Please be attached really really tight in my womb.

So we put our Christmas tree up last night. It looks beautiful. I wanted to do traditional colors, red and green. I bought a gorgeous tree skirt last year in the ball the day after Christmas on sale! Its red and green so I went and bought some ornaments at Target. Surprisingly, there aren't many traditional green ornaments. I have plenty of red ones but I only have about 6 green ones on the tree. There is this trendy green going around that looks to pukey for me.
Hopefully, our cat, Toni is staying away from the tree. He was so excited to climb it and pull it that I went and bought a water gun so Aaron could shoot him everytime he got near it. He did and Toni took off leaving dust behind!!! Hopefully, he learned his lesson.
This weekend we are doing nothing. I don't have plans for tomorrow so I will probably just clean and lay around. We haven't done any Christmas shopping but Aaron likes to go with me so I will have to wait on him.

Well I guess that is some venting there... I feel a little better. :)