4dp6dt today! 10 dpo...

I am feeling down. I tested last night and got a bfn on 2 different tests. Now I know its still way early but since I tested positive last time in the same time frame, it has me feeling negative. I am trying to explain to myself how I read that frozen babies take a little while longer to show up on hpt's and how the babies had only been in my 3 days yesterday verses 4 days during my ivf cycle. So THAT could had made a difference.
I did have me some crying spells and this morning I woke up crying. Right now I am crying. I spoke to my mom and she was asking me how I felt. She just "knows" that I am PG. I know she is speaking in faith and I do believe but reality then sets in and tells me that I could NOT be PG. I mean its either I am or not. She was really encouraging me and I broke down over the phone. I opened up to her about my sister and how I feel it's going to be hard on me if I don't end up PG. She understood but really encouraged me and told me that she feels we will both be PG with our big bellies and everything will be fine. That would be beautiful to me to share this with my sister and all but will be the total opposite if I am the bitter infertile while she is the fertile mertile. KWIM? She told me not to think that way and to keep positive. I swear, I am trying!!!
I don't want to test tonight (for real, I don't) because I don't want to see another bfn. They are so ugly. Aaron says for me to test tomorrow which I will. I have one more test left and am saving it for tomorrow while I am at home all by myself. Testing early and getting bfns are screwing up my days so I minus well wait and let some time pass. Tomorrow will be 11 dpo and that is still early but I really hope that I can get at least a light positive.