I have been keeping myself busy lately. First, we have decided to buy an above ground pool this summer. I got all obsessed and have been researching like crazy between 2 pools we have our eyes on. I think I have made up my mind!
Then I was recently voted in to becoming the church secretary at my dads church. It's an honor that the members believe in me to handle ALOT of legal and confidential responsibility but I am also finding that OMG, I have alot of work to do. I have to update everything because so far nobody had been doing the job "correctly" according to all the information I am learning. I am also excited because I love to learn and love challenges. I am having to learn alot about the IRS, the State and the church. It's a bit overwhelming but I believe in myself. Plus, the pay that they offered isn't going to hurt either. ;)

My appt is on Monday. It has seemed way longer than 2 weeks since my bfn... My anger has died down a bit concerning the transfer (thawed 2 embryos when RE had agreed to thaw all 4 and transfer all that survived) but I plan bring it up. I read the book IVF: The ART of Making Babies front and back and learned alot. I am interested in further testing and plan to make a list of tests and procedures I might want to get done before my next ivf. Who knows, the RE might just blow my requests away but I am going in there confident and at least "acting" to be knowledgeable in what I have to say.
I also have my well woman that same day at 11am. I will be seeing a doc that a friend of mine recommended when I was PG so I decided I minus well get to know him now because *hopefully* he will be seeing alot of me after July. Hopefully I like him the way my friend claims I will.

My PG sister is visiting next week. Although I am glad to see her I am already feeling a little distant from her. I am scared of how I am going to react to actually have her there in person knowing that she is PG. I don't want to be rude or hurt her feelings but at the same time I need to take care of myself. She is staying for about a week and a half and I am ashamed to say that I wish it wasn't that long. We had also made plans to go visit her and her dh in May for my b-day but instead I am getting a pool. I don't have any time left at work and will be taking alot of time off in June/July for ivf so I don't want to bother my boss for any more days off unless I have to. My sister was looking forward to it and actually so was I but now that she is PG I have about 3 excuses at hand to give to her as to why I am not going. I hate that I feel this way, I hate that I am even put in this situation and I am sure that if I ever have a healthy PG, I will regret this because I neglected my sister during a time that was special for her and a time that should had been special for us as sisters. Life is cruel.

The days are going by fast for me when I keep busy. I can't believe we are almost half way down April. June doesn't seem that far away to me so all I need to do is keep being busy. Before I know it, I will start shooting up again, doing the dildo cam again, all the torture of waiting again, etc. And maybe, hopefully getting PG again.