The hardest day of the year for me (and probably alot of infertile women) is OVER. Woohooo!!! I can breath again. Its so weird! I was stressing about Mother's Day for weeks. I was just so sad and so nervous of how I was going to react. But... I went good. I decided to just think about my mom and mother in law. We took my MIL to breakfast and there were ALOT of new moms with their babies which sort of hurt but I tried to ignore it. That was over. Then I took my mom out to lunch before church and it went good too. I had already told her I wasn't going to church. Thank God she finally understand. Last year she gave me a hard time as I skipped too and she was hurt that I would go for HER on Mother's Day. This year she didn't say NOTHING. She just said okay. So after I left I headed to the stores and bought me 2 shirts. Then went to the mall to browse and finally got home. I decided to watch a sappy love movie and ate junk food. Through the whole day of course, I had mini crying breakdowns but it felt good. I just took in my emotions and didn't try to hide them and wasn't ashamed to feel angry and sad. It's funny because I was all alone (Aaron was on call and he was needed then he had to go to church as he is very needed) and I liked it that way. I was able to do what I wanted when I wanted. I guess I like being by myself in my misery! I did finally really breakdown at night when getting ready to go to bed. Aaron was in the office so I felt "safe" to just bawl. I hugged my teddy bear so tight (the one we made in honor of our little baby) and just cried and cried. I know I covered the bear with tears. Aaron walked in on me and he just hugged me. I missed my baby so much at that moment and Aaron and I just held each other for a few minutes. He told me he didn't like looking at our bear as it reminded him and it hurt too much. :(
So that was it! I survived it! I did pray alot and asked God to please let me have a real live baby in my arms next Mother's Day. If my IVF in July works, I will be due in April making next Mother's Day a memorable one! I hope with all my heart.

Overall the weekend was good. On Saturday 2 of my younger cousins came over and we swam all day in my pool. It was FUN. We ordered pizza and wings and just soaked in the pool. It was perfect weather too. HOT. It was nice and I think that made it sooo much easier to head into Sunday. I wasn't thinking about the next day and how sad I was going to be but more just having fun. I am VERY tan and I like it! I am olive skin but pale so the tan looks good. Aaron likes it alot. :) He says I look more exotic! *blushes*

So I called my clinic yesterday to let them know I got AF. Yeah, I got it on MOTHER'S DAY. How cruel is that??? I let them know and we scheduled my sonohysterogram (saline u/s to check my uterus on the inside) for Monday. I believe I will get my schedule that DAY. Its crazy to think that I will be starting bcp's next cycle already! Its crazy! I have a good feeling again about ivf. Its funny. I had a good feeling about ivf in Nov. and it worked. I had a bad feeling about our FET and it didn't. So hopefully I am right again and this cycle works but not only for a bfp, but for a sticky baby!!!! (or 2)