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Nothing much going on here. Just tapping my fingers waiting on AF. I did test yesterday and it was a bfn so I am sure I am out. Its cool though. I wasn't expecting nothing but I can admit that it would had been nice to be surprised. I looked back at my Clomid charts and it seems I have a looooooong LP lasting 14 or 15 days. Soo I am only 12 or 13 dpo today. FF keeps changing my original ovulation date so thats why I am confused. I think I am 13 dpo but who knows...

I am ready though to start. I did have me a mini cry yesterday with Aaron and not because it was bfn or because its now IVF time but more because I am scared that this IVF might not work. I mean, it could and I am thinking that it will but what if it doesn't. Nobody thinks they will be one of those women that move on to ivf#3 or ivf#4 or ivf#5 etc... When is it time to stop? If this is negative then we move onto ivf#3!! Its just all too scary and overwhelming. I try not to think that far ahead though and am hoping that I am one of those women that get PG and have a baby with IVF#2. There are alot of them so I am hoping I can sneak in there and grab me a spot.

I just want to have a child.. why is this so hard? As I type this there is a girl here in the office waiting that is about 15-17 years old with a little belly bump!! Why is this so hard for me? I just don't get it. I try and try to try to understand this but I just don't. I end up feeling like I am banging my head against a brick wall.