I am having some trouble today. First of all, I am in PAIN. I am so uncomfortable and any movement hurts. Then once I think I feel better, I get up to go pee and then here comes the pain. I feel like I am majorly constipated although it could be cramps. I can't tell! Grr... RE asked me this morning if I had the buddah belly! He said thats how a patient of his described it. Um, YEAH. My belly is HUGE. I look 6 months PG. I can't suck it in, I have been wearing my nightgown for 4 days now. And I probably won't go to work tomorrow. I just can't fathom sitting there for 8 hours being so uncomfortable.

I have had some breakdowns today, oh and last night! I have been crying. I just hope this works because I can't see myself doing this again. I also don't think its too fair. Dh has been a doll of course, but he actually wanted to go to the movies. Hence, I did plan it with him BEFORE egg retrieval as I didn't remember how bad it got but still. He wanted ME to go to the movies TODAY! I didn't bite his head off or anything I just nicely said no. He is now at the store getting me some gatorade, apple juice and some chicken broth to make my soup again. So apparently, he is fine. But I also called my mom and sister and although they are very very supportive and I know they care about me but its just not fair. Everybody (including me of course) wants this baby so much. Aaron wants to be a dad, my mom wants to be grandmother, my sisters want to be aunts, my dad wants to be a granddad but here I am the only one that has to suffer for it. I know I sound like I am whining but I promise, I am in pain. And maybe its the vicodin talking right now but I just feel like having a pity party. My husband has NO clue what I go through. He gives me "the" look, you know, the one you give to somebody when they just fell and they messed up their knee?? Well thats the look he gives me. Like "I am sorry! That must hurt" but I also think he is thinking "glad it isn't me!". I know, I am being evil. I just hate this!
I can't help to cry over how I shouldn't be hurting this way. (I know... here we go again... if you are tired of reading about my miscarriage then just skip this part... Okay, I warned you) I should be hurting because of labor. I should uncomfortable because of a BIG belly (HEY, I do have a big belly, what a coincidence! haha..*sarcastic*) but not because of ER but because of a big baby in there. My due date is in about 3 weeks! I just shouldn't have to be doing this again, but I am and it sucks.

Well of the couch. No more whining for now.