Well I've survived so far this week.
Yesterday was my follow up. I had a list of questions which RE did great in answering. He didn't mention donor anything so YAY! He did mention that my eggs weren't as hot looking as they were the first time around. That isn't good. He said that Aaron's sperm were not very motile but that it's okay with ICSI. I mentioned how I am not doing another ivf this year. He just sort of giggled. I told him it was too much for me and that I wanted to do FET. He told me to just call when I get AF when I am ready. I mentioned IUIs. He said that with Aaron's numbers we could be okay to try a couple. He said that this last sample (for ivf) would NOT have been good enough for IUI but the first time around would had been. I believe he had about 3-4 million motile sperm. So we asked about a urologist that Aaron could go see and we got one. I will look him up today. I told him that I wanted to get into shape by next ivf. He said that was good. The healthier, the better. I totally agree. RE also mentioned to Aaron that the healthier the better. Overall, he doesn't think there is something more out there. He just said that this cycle just wasn't as good as that first one. My eggs weren't as good. I did admit that I didn't take my metformin religously like I did the first time around. I mean, I took it but I forgot alot of the morning doses. He told me to take it all the time. He said that he has hope for us. He doesn't think we are hopeless at all and that he has seen other couples like us achieve their baby.
I came out feeling good not depressed. I came out feeling ready to get myself back and into shape. You know, focus on myself. I know I will do the FET in Sept. but it just isn't the same as ivf. IVF takes everything out of me. All my physical energy, my emotions, my heart, my mind, my body, even my marriage. I am ready to take a break from it. I am young still and why not take the time to get our bodies better prepared? What if we could do IUI? How awesome would that be? Or if this FET works?? How great would that be?? No more IVF! Oh what a dream!

After that I went to my very first acupuncture session. I wanted to at least try it. It went good. I actually did enjoy it. She mentioned my spleen because there was a needle on my leg that HURT. Not stung or burned but hurt like a bruise. She said it was my spleen and that that causes and inadedaquate supply and imbalance of blood. It sounds weird but I am going with it. She asked if I bruise easily, I said YES! I do! So she said that what we are doing should definately help my lining out.
Yesterdays session was to clean me. She said I might bleed a bit more this AF but so far I haven't. AF is actually gone. I noticed this time around that she was very light. Too light for after IVF in my opinion. Maybe my lining wasn't too thick??? I just expected alot of heavy bleeding and instead I got 2 days of medium flow. I never have AF like that!
Anyways, I have my next session next Monday and I'll continue to go every week until transfer and if PG I will probably keep going for a while. It's nice to be trying something different.

So that was my day. My night was not so good. I couldn't sleep last night. I was crying alot and Aaron had no clue. Or maybe he did because he held me until late last night. I looked up at the alarm clock and it was 3am! I just want this week to be over with. It's getting harder and harder to focus as my est. due date gets closer. Once its gone, then life can go on but for now, I feel like I am counting down the days and hours and minutes.
Oh and I guess AF won't be here for est. due date. Finally something in my favor.