So I waited and I decided I couldn't anymore. I told myself I'd give it the weekend and all this week and still nothing. I'm going in tomorrow for my 2nd d&c. I am nervous about the possible dangers of having multiple d&c's but I'm trusting my dr. I just can't wait anymore. I feel pregnant. I feel stuck and I need to move on. I need to feel myself again.

Dh wanted one more u/s before so I made it work out where I will literally be having one more u/s an hour before d&c. I guess he needs it for peace of mind. It will definately probably make me feel better as well so I'm game. I'll be at radiology at 8:30 and then be at surgery at 11:00. Long day tomorrow!

I had a mini breakdown the other night. Dh just held me and encouraged me. I just wish it would had worked out, ya know?
Today was also a bit gloomy. I guess this is it. The actual closing of this pregnancy.

I'm ready though. Just sad that now I have 2 angels. Here's a goooooooooood poem I found today. Made me cry.

"Daddy please don't look so sad,momma please don't cry.
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.
please try not to question God, don't think he is unkind.
Don't think he sent me to you and then changed his mind.
You see I'm a special child, I am needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him, a product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, so watch the sky at night.
Look for the brightest star and know that's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a gentle breeze from a gentle wind that blows.
Know that it's me planting a kiss upon your nose.
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a tug,
Don't be sad mommy, that's just me giving your heart a hug.
So daddy don't looks so sad and momma please don't cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies!"