Well finally have some resolution. I went for a 2nd opinion with a new dr (whom I LOVED btw and plan to keep seeing as far as ob/gyn stuff is concerned) and finally I was told how far along I am and where and what should be there. The dr. I was previously seeing was so cold and was lacking compassion to the max. So new dr. went over everything with me and I should had been 8w4d (which ironically is the same exact date when I learned of my last m/c) and that there def should be a heartbeat, something there.

The u/s was explained to me. Finally, some type of explanation. I saw my sac again. It's now looking like a sausage shaped and to me looks like it's collapsing. There was def no baby in there. But this dr. said he believes there was an old tiny yolk sac that maybe developed or tried to develop and some pieces of either a detoriated fetal pole or one that stopped developing very early. I was given the chromosome speech which I'm about 99% sure that is what actually happened here. He told me that he thinks bfp happened because I was on bcp. He said it works for alot of PCOS women.
We went over natural m/c and dnc. I think I'm going to give myself a timeline and if nothing, I'll go in for my 2nd dnc. Dr. said I could go to 12 weeks!!! No way! So I think I'll give a week and if nothing, well I'll be seeing the scary room once again.

Dh told him that he is going to see a urologist in March and we were recommended the same guy that our RE recommended back in IVF days as new ob/gyn. This guy must be good eh? So we're excited about that. Dh is really serious about getting some answers besides vitamin recommendations about why the low morph and low count.
We have decided to stay put for a bit and just work on our health. I gained some weight over the holidays because I had planned to start working out in the new year but then found out I was pregnant. Let's just say I was craving lots of yummy food. We'll leave like that. :) I need to get back to exercising and eating healthy. While this is going on dh will be working with uro. We also plan to do FET sometime in the spring/summer. I have 2 blasts calling my name.
Plans plans and more plans!!

I gotta say that I feel so good and have def been focused on the bright side. I got pregnant naturally. WITHOUT trying. Without even thinking about it. Dh and I had sex once which also happened to be when I ovulated. And it happened. I'm not naive and think I'm all of a sudden fertile... but this def gave me hope.
One thing I keep thinking about is how this baby brought back the hunger in me to be a mom. I was NOT in ttc mode at all. If you knew me, I was playing the wild city girl. Dh and I were planning to move to Austin. We had our house for sale. We were set. I was going back to school for 2 1/2 years in Austin. I had plans. We had plans that did NOT include kids. I told dh I didn't even want to think about it. Maybe when I was 35 I would. I had the conversation with my mom about 2-3 months ago. She said "35??????" I said "YUP." And left it at that.
Now I have the itch. BIG time. But def not being impulsive nor desperate. Yet. lol. I'm going to take my time to get healthy and get my mind on the prize.

I often would wonder how on earth would I ever start ttc again. My 1st m/c put so much fear, so much hurt in me. Then the ivf and fet bffn's that followed took the little air I had left. The little hope I had left. So I ran. Ran far far away and never looked back. My marriage was suffering. My spirit was dead. My mind was just about in insane status. Even though I am now so much better, ttc was a bad nasty chapter in my life for all I knew. I never wanted to go back there. But of course one day I wanted to have children. I thought, adoption for sure. Just straight to adoption. Don't even try again. (ha! did I not realize what a rollercoaster adoption is as well????) Either way, I just didn't know HOW I'd get there again. And through my little recent miracle, hope was awakened in me once again. For that I am thankful.

I will not run. I will face my fears. I will try. I will give it my all again. I will hope again. I will allow myself to dream again. I will plan. I will pray again. And hopefully next time it will finally be my turn.

Latest stats:
30 yrs old (pcos-- completely annovulatory)
Dh- 28 yrs old (severe MFI)

TTC#1 for over 6 1/2 years
Just got back from a looooooong 3 year break

2 IVFs, 1 FET back in 2006-2007

1 missed m/c from IVF#1 at 8w4d
and another m/c from a surprise al natural bfp in Jan 2010




As Willie Nelson said, "On the road again. Just can't wait to get on the road again".

Not really but at least I think I'm about ready.